Harry never met Sally

‘When Harry met Sally’ keeps popping up my life lately, it seems that it’s always being discussed by friends or being written about. It’s the 30 year anniversary of its release this year so maybe that’s the reason for the sudden resurgence, and it’s been nagging at me so I decided to give it a watch. I debated whether or not I wanted to write about dating and relationships with colitis but I figured if by chance someone reads it and relates or my shit talk helps them then it’s worth it. So here we go – why Harry never met Sally.

Even before copping colitis I never really engaged in many social activities with the predetermined idea of finding a romantic interest. Most of my relationships and romantic efforts have come from me stumbling along and falling into them, or the awkward pursuit of a friend, or the very rare occasion I go out and face the deep regret of a 20 standard drink hookup. I love going on dates, eating bad food is one of my favourite past times, but I just don’t have much interest in the dating process so I don’t get the opportunity. I’ve been forced into getting tinder and other apps but that’s never got anywhere, and now I don’t really know what I’m meant to do.

So let’s say I’m Harry, and I’m trying to find a Sally. Personally I don’t really want anything super serious, I’m never getting married or having kids (might write about this later if anyone’s interested), commitment scares me and I like being alone. Something casual would be ideal but hey I’m currently just enjoying being single. People say love will find you when it’s meant to happen but I feel like actively pursuing it proooobably helps just a little, so I’m disadvantaged there. Now Harry is a bit eccentric, hates clubbing, does weird loner activities like painting, hiking and keeping reptiles (yes that eccentric). Sally now by extension must also be a bit eccentric, otherwise this probably won’t work out. Because Harry and Sally are reclusive weirdos they probably aren’t going to meet, and if they do meet what are the odds that Sally is going to like the tattooed socially awkward Harry, with a half functioning colon?? And there is the crux of it…

In movie land Harry and Sally met, but they shouldn’t because it’s fucking New York and there’s 30 million people. There’s no chance they continuously meet 5 years apart, and in this world every 5 years they’ve both probably got another 3 kids or shaved their head or had a stint in jail. Its not realistic. I’m in Perth, 1 million at best. I can’t meet one person once how the fuck are you meeting the same person repeatedly?? Do I need to leave the house more? Yeh. Would living in a large city help? Probably. But come on man, this ain’t real life. Where’s the part where I tell Sally I don’t like the traditional ideas of marriage and don’t want kids? And now I need to find a new Sally in my severely reduced 3% of the female population that share my ideas. Or when I tell her I’m likely to have a shit-bag within the next 10 years?? Or when the chorizo and beer we had kicks me and I have to immediately sprint to a toilet and ruin the moment?? IT’S NOT HAPPENING GUYS.

Is my Sally sitting in a nightclub hating the night, wishing she was home, pissed because she can’t find an independent guy who doesn’t want kids? And I’m missing my Harry meeting Sally moment because I’m at home, cause I had the foresight to know the night would be shit and I stayed in bed??? Crap, now I’m having an existential crisis. By withdrawing from life I’m not experiencing it but if I experience it I’m likely to get let down. My chances of meeting Sally doing things I like are tiny because they aren’t typical meeting a romantic interest activities. Now what!?

Now we get on tinder and ruin our mental health. 2019 is fun.

If this is popular I might write more about relationships and dating with IBD, and who knows I might actually go on a date. If it’s not or I don’t want to go back and do this again just know I’m probably pretty happy living life as a weirdo recluse. That’s all folks.

The fund-raiser for Crohn’s & Colitis Australia is still going, Nepal is in ~2 months and I haven’t reached the fund raising target or my fitness target. If I die in Nepal from being slow and useless I at least want to go out knowing I raised some money for good people doing good things. Get around it please! Here here here. And here.

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